Balance

November 27, 2021 Heart to Heart Selling Concepts

Every moment, we silently ask ourselves “Is my body balanced?”

How do I know that?

If you would, please stand up, stand straight and pay attention to your body. You’ll notice that it doesn’t, actually, stay perfectly straight. Instead, it softly swings, ever so slightly, continuously coming back to its ‘straight position’. The body moves in and out of the ‘straight position’, all the time. It goes out of balance and then (since, at some level, our attention it is on the balance of the body) the body re-balance itself. This process goes on all the time, without us having to do anything in particular.

We learned (during the early stages of our life, when we made our first steps) that keeping some of our attention on the balance of our body it’s an important prerequisite for carrying a safe walking.

Unfortunately, nobody taught us to keep a balanced mind.

In fact, everybody around us (from parents to characters in the books and movies) is living under the control of their erratic mind and its nurtured emotions. In fact, we grew up under the belief that “if we feel something, that means it is True and we have to Act on it”. Moreover, since we identify with our mind, we blame other people, things and events as being the culprit for having those emotions and for our [erratic] thoughts, feelings and actions.

In other words, we move on through life tolerating and indulging an unbalanced mind. Then, we wonder why our lives grow so chaotically and why we produce so much [unnecessary] suffering.

What happens when you Stop for a moment and ask yourself:
“Is my mind Balanced, right now?”

Then simply Pay Attention. There’s nothing you need “to do”. Just as it [actually] happens with your body, the inner intelligence inside yourself, when left alone, it does know what to do to bring it back to the ‘optimally operating position’.

Here’s another helping question: “Is my mind Here and Now?”

Then wait and notice, without “thinking”. Just “contemplate”, “reflect”, “notice”.

What if Gravity would Change? (https://youhavemoreoptions.wordpress.com/2016/04/04/what-if-gravity-would-change/)

What dogs and cats have to do with explaining Presence?

January 21, 2020January 21, 2020 Heart to Heart Selling presence presence

Have you ever seen one of those home-made videos where a cat sees itself in the mirror and gets scared? Or one of the videos where a dog barks at his image in the mirror?

We are laughing when we see that.

Why? What gives us the “power” to be amused by those situations, in which the animal is totally engrossed?

Of course, it’s the fact that we can see – from our “higher” perspective – that the dog is, actually, seeing itself in the mirror; that the dog he’s barking at is, actually, itself.

In other words, we can see Both instances of the dog, in the same time.

The dog is only seeing the image in front of his eyes. The dog is not seeing itself – at least, not with seeing the mirror image. If the dog had the capability to See that he’s looking at itself, he’d probably either quietly walk away or admire itself, wiggling its tail. 🙂

It’s only when you can see Both images in the same time that you can notice that they are Connected and how they determine each other’s movements.

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How many times have you “fallen” prey to your immediate feelings, ignited by the image you saw: somebody’s behavior, or somebody’s words? Isn’t it true that – in those moments – All of your attention was Captivated by that person and All you could think of was Them, What they did and what it Meant to you?

Some people would not be able – yet – to see that process even now, when it’s nothing triggering them and their attention is relaxed. However, many people will have the capacity and strength to admit that – in those moments – they were just like the little puppy barking at the mirror (seeing only that image and not having any consciousness of itself, not being able to see Both characters In The Same Time).

Some trainers teach that – in those situations – you should “control your feelings”. But… how can you do that if All that you see is “the other person”, not being able to see ‘yourself’ [in the same time]?

Thus, the First step is to “detach” from the situation by taking a Higher Perspective which will allow you to see Both yourself and the person triggering you, In The Same Time. Then – you’ll be able to see the Connection between you two and how your behaviors influence each other. That alone will make all the difference in the world. Holding that ‘distance’, holding that ‘space’ will make room for unknown wisdom to sneak in and to guide your behavior, solving the situation in a more satisfying way that you could’ve imagined – without you even being able to know What you did.

That ‘stepping back’, that ‘distance’, that ‘space’ that you’re holding, that ‘higher perspective’ and seeing all the characters involved (including yourself) In The Same Time…

That’s Presence and [some of] its benefits.

**//*

Note: The “trainers” that I mentioned above surely had that experience, but then tried to look back and collect What they did and teach that to others. They are oblivious to the fact that it is the Presence that’s Primary and that the Behaviors are Secondary. The same Behavior will have totally different results, depending on the Place [the person] is Coming From.

Would you like to Connect?

May 3, 2016 Heart to Heart Selling Concepts

http://www.meetup.com/Heart-to-Heart-Sell…/events/230600833/

This is for you, if you want to increase your ‘personal power’, your effectiveness as an influencer, a salesperson or as a change-worker.

I want to live in a world where people choose to Connect First, before even thinking about influencing or selling.

…

So, the question is: Are you Authentically Connecting with the person you’re talking with? Because, until you do, they will not allow themselves to feel any Value in whatever you’re suggesting them to do.

I teach Connection.

***

As a way of “paying forward” (rather than ‘paying back’, that is), every week I am coaching one person without asking anything of them, other than their full willingness to receive, to engage and ‘play full out’ with whatever the conversation chooses to unfold, to go deep in places that might feel uncomfortable or vulnerable – because that’s the only way for Transformation to happen. This will not be a conversation aimed to give you Information (you can find that all over internet). This is a conversation for Transformation. So, if you’re up to that, send me a message and we’ll meet online (I’ll send you a Zoom link). I’ll put aside 2 hours for you. Bring up your biggest challenge that you want to deal with, or your biggest dream you’d like to achieve. Consider what stands between you and that resolution you’d like to have, why you don’t have it already and let’s have an open conversation about that.

***

Note: I realize that, for some parts of the world, the 6.30 pm MST is not feasible (for instance, in UK would be 3.30 am!) . If that’s the case for you, let me know and let’s agree on a more ‘common sense’ time…

How Committed are you?

April 17, 2016 Heart to Heart Selling Concepts

(this is a smaller overview on the subject. For a more expansive description, watch “How Committed are you #2)

What’s your Understanding of the concept of Commitment?
How do you feel when somebody asks you to ‘commit yourself’ to some action?

These days, Commitment is used as being about something external – a goal, a vision, a partner, etc. Also, it is used in a way that’s aimed to make you feel guilty and “less then…”, if you’re ‘not committed’…

I found that some people use it as a way to “motivate” somebody to make a decision… blaming them for ‘not being committed’…

… and that’s why I don’t really feel attracted to this word…
… and probably most people feel the same, since they are ‘not committed’… 🙂

But, what if Commitment is Not about that ‘external thing’, but about something internal, something within Ourselves?

****

Links. Let’s connect…

If you liked this, let’s connect:

Website:
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YouTube – More Options Coaching channel
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPFflBdhQmo7HjLIlSQ-gQyihhXq6lRSG

YouTube – Heart to Heart Selling channel
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPFflBdhQmo6vzHNi3Tx1AMoYb0OALPhc

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What if Gravity would Change?

April 4, 2016 Heart to Heart Selling Concepts

(this message got a bit longer than intended, but I truly believe it’s worthwhile…)

What would be different in the way you Pay Attention if the Gravity field (which is now a Constant) would Randomly Change, moment by moment?

Do you Need a Relationship?

March 22, 2016 Heart to Heart Selling Clarity, Concepts, Distinctions, Perspectives

Most people “suffer” of the compulsion of ‘being liked’ when they enter a relationship – which turns the dynamic of that relationship into something less than pleasant, for all parties involved.

Then, out of frustration, the person who craved liking “riots” and goes for the opposite choice: “I don’t care about them!” type of attitude…
But, there is a happy medium – the attitude of Play, of mutual respect, of kindness, of calibrating and sending signals of “this is Play”… AND, when ‘conflicts’ or ‘misunderstandings’ arise, solve them from the same place (rather than from the place of “I am right, you are wrong”)…

****

If you liked this, let’s connect:

Website:
http://www.hearttoheartselling.com/home.html

YouTube – More Options Coaching channel
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPFflBdhQmo7HjLIlSQ-gQyihhXq6lRSG

YouTube – Heart to Heart Selling channel
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPFflBdhQmo6vzHNi3Tx1AMoYb0OALPhc

Blog More Options Coaching
https://youhavemoreoptions.wordpress.com/

Blog Heart to Heart Selling
https://salesengineeringblog.wordpress.com/

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How I Feel is none of my business

February 25, 2016February 25, 2016 Heart to Heart Selling Clarity balance, Being Present, the three principles

As human beings, we furiously want to Feel Good.

So – when we label a feeling as “Not Good” – we go the extra length to “put it off” or to “get rid of it”. We treat those so-called “Not Good” feelings as a Mistake that the Nature forgot to correct (so now We do it in her place).

But what if All Feelings (“good” or “bad”, however you want to call them) have a different and more important purpose?

****

Links:

Website:
http://www.hearttoheartselling.com/home.html

YouTube – More Options Coaching channel
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPFflBdhQmo7HjLIlSQ-gQyihhXq6lRSG

YouTube – Heart to Heart Selling channel
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPFflBdhQmo6vzHNi3Tx1AMoYb0OALPhc

Blog More Options Coaching
https://youhavemoreoptions.wordpress.com/

Blog Heart to Heart Selling
https://salesengineeringblog.wordpress.com/

Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/cezar.cehan

Linkedin
https://www.linkedin.com/in/cezar-cehan-3613b11?trk=nav_responsive_tab_profile_pic

Meditation – should I stop my Thinking

February 9, 2016February 9, 2016 Heart to Heart Selling Concepts, Perspectives coaching, connection, meditation, observer, presence

I found that many people talk about Meditation in terms of “stop your thoughts”, or “you have to sit down for one hour daily, with your eyes closed, without thinking”…

In teaching people about Meditation or Mindfulness, the most common
“objection” that I hear is that “it’s difficult to just sit there, with my eyes closed, because that’s when I start Having Thoughts, and I Feel the urge to do something more useful” (well, something along those lines…)

I had the same experience, in the past. What happened for me, though, is that I realized that Meditation or Mindfulness is Not something that you do for one hour and then you resume your habitual way of being for the rest of the day… Rather, Meditation is something that you [can] do all day long, or at any moment you feel like…

… just by Observing without Judging…

It will feel weird at the beginning (because we still Identify with the Thoughts we might entertain at a given moment, or because we still take those Thoughts as telling us something about the future). You will have the impulse to “do something”, as response to those Thoughts … Well, look AT that impulse and Don’t “do” anything about that impulse, neither. Just “Observe without Judging” even that tendency. “Observe without Judging” yourself having that tendency (notice for yourself “oh, look, I started to get worried”)

After a while, you will love the easiness, the stillness, the peace that will grow more and more inside you…

Try it out and see what happens… It won’t “take time” out of your day… It won’t include “more things to do” on your [already busy] list… Just bring a different quality to the “doing”, by noticing that you are Not “the thing that you are doing or thinking about”… noticing that you are “something” who “Does the doing or the thinking”…

That, in and of itself, it’s a moment of enlightenment, of Presence, of Connection…

PS. here’s a nice metaphor…

Techniques addiction – What if Connection comes first?

February 8, 2016February 8, 2016 Heart to Heart Selling Concepts, Distinctions, Perspectives balance, coaching, connection, NLP, presence, principles, technique

Techniques are in big demand nowadays – we’ve been led to believe that this is what we need – a good technique, if we want to accomplish anything. Anytime we find ourselves “in trouble”, the first thing we focus on is “what is the best thing To Do in order to get to where I want?”

Question: What would need to be true for us, to do that – to look for a way ‘to operate UPON a particular situation? To look for what to Do, rather than what to Be, for resolving it?

Obviously, we need to see ourselves as Separate of that situation and of the other people involved. We want a particular outcome to unfold and we use techniques to control the external circumstances to make that possible. We start from the presumption that what makes that outcome possible is a particular external circumstance. Thus, we focus on controlling the external circumstances…

Paradoxically, however, we live through a different understanding when it comes to our bodies. And, I would say, this understanding works much better and much more effective.

Think of this for a moment…

– you’re standing on a boat, floating through the waves

– you want to walk from one end to the other of it

– however, the waves are shaking the boat

Question:

– are you looking for a technique to control the waves (i.e., the external circumstances)?

– or are you focusing on maintaining the balance of your body, knowing that this is how you increase the chances for you to reach to the other end of the boat? And, even if you use various ‘helping techniques’, you know that their true and first purpose is maintaining the balance of your body, rather than manipulating the conditions, or even than ‘getting there’ – because we intrinsically Know that “walking” is not separated from our body… our body Makes the ‘walking’.

I bet that the second answer make the best sense to you…

What if this is what we first and foremost need, if we want to create in Alignment to the Natural Order of Things: Balance of the Mind, Presence, Connection?

What if the purpose of a technique is to facilitate for Us to Connect and Become Present, rather than “making Them” behave in a particular way?

What if Connection comes first?

****

Links:

Website:

http://www.hearttoheartselling.com/home.html

YouTube – More Options Coaching channel

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPFflBdhQmo7HjLIlSQ-gQyihhXq6lRSG

YouTube – Heart to Heart Selling channel

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPFflBdhQmo6vzHNi3Tx1AMoYb0OALPhc

Blog More Options Coaching

https://youhavemoreoptions.wordpress.com/