Balance

Every moment, we silently ask ourselves “Is my body balanced?”

How do I know that?

If you would, please stand up, stand straight and pay attention to your body. You’ll notice that it doesn’t, actually, stay perfectly straight. Instead, it softly swings, ever so slightly, continuously coming back to its ‘straight position’. The body moves in and out of the ‘straight position’, all the time. It goes out of balance and then (since, at some level, our attention it is on the balance of the body) the body re-balance itself. This process goes on all the time, without us having to do anything in particular.

We learned (during the early stages of our life, when we made our first steps) that keeping some of our attention on the balance of our body it’s an important prerequisite for carrying a safe walking.

Unfortunately, nobody taught us to keep a balanced mind.

In fact, everybody around us (from parents to characters in the books and movies) is living under the control of their erratic mind and its nurtured emotions. In fact, we grew up under the belief that “if we feel something, that means it is True and we have to Act on it”. Moreover, since we identify with our mind, we blame other people, things and events as being the culprit for having those emotions and for our [erratic] thoughts, feelings and actions.

In other words, we move on through life tolerating and indulging an unbalanced mind. Then, we wonder why our lives grow so chaotically and why we produce so much [unnecessary] suffering.

What happens when you Stop for a moment and ask yourself:

“Is my mind Balanced, right now?”

Then simply Pay Attention. There’s nothing you need “to do”. Just as it [actually] happens with your body, the inner intelligence inside yourself, when left alone, it does know what to do to bring it back to the ‘optimally operating position’.

Here’s another helping question: “Is my mind Here and Now?”

Then wait and notice, without “thinking”. Just “contemplate”, “reflect”, “notice”.

Related posts:

What if Gravity would Change? (https://youhavemoreoptions.wordpress.com/2016/04/04/what-if-gravity-would-change/)

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Would you like to Connect?

http://www.meetup.com/Heart-to-Heart-Sell…/events/230600833/

This is for you, if you want to increase your ‘personal power’, your effectiveness as an influencer, a salesperson or as a change-worker.

I want to live in a world where people choose to Connect First, before even thinking about influencing or selling.

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So, the question is: Are you Authentically Connecting with the person you’re talking with? Because, until you do, they will not allow themselves to feel any Value in whatever you’re suggesting them to do.

I teach Connection.

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As a way of “paying forward” (rather than ‘paying back’, that is), every week I am coaching one person without asking anything of them, other than their full willingness to receive, to engage and ‘play full out’ with whatever the conversation chooses to unfold, to go deep in places that might feel uncomfortable or vulnerable – because that’s the only way for Transformation to happen. This will not be a conversation aimed to give you Information (you can find that all over internet). This is a conversation for Transformation. So, if you’re up to that, send me a message and we’ll meet online (I’ll send you a Zoom link). I’ll put aside 2 hours for you. Bring up your biggest challenge that you want to deal with, or your biggest dream you’d like to achieve. Consider what stands between you and that resolution you’d like to have, why you don’t have it already and let’s have an open conversation about that.

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Note: I realize that, for some parts of the world, the 6.30 pm MST is not feasible (for instance, in UK would be 3.30 am!) . If that’s the case for you, let me know and let’s agree on a more ‘common sense’ time…

How Committed are you?

 

(this is a smaller overview on the subject. For a more expansive description, watch “How Committed are you #2)

 

 
What’s your Understanding of the concept of Commitment?
How do you feel when somebody asks you to ‘commit yourself’ to some action?

These days, Commitment is used as being about something external – a goal, a vision, a partner, etc. Also, it is used in a way that’s aimed to make you feel guilty and “less then…”, if you’re ‘not committed’…

I found that some people use it as a way to “motivate” somebody to make a decision… blaming them for ‘not being committed’…

… and that’s why I don’t really feel attracted to this word…
… and probably most people feel the same, since they are ‘not committed’… 🙂

But, what if Commitment is Not about that ‘external thing’, but about something internal, something within Ourselves?

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Links. Let’s connect…

If you liked this, let’s connect:

Website:
http://www.hearttoheartselling.com/home.html

YouTube – More Options Coaching channel
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPFflBdhQmo7HjLIlSQ-gQyihhXq6lRSG

YouTube – Heart to Heart Selling channel
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPFflBdhQmo6vzHNi3Tx1AMoYb0OALPhc

Blog More Options Coaching
https://youhavemoreoptions.wordpress.com/

Blog Heart to Heart Selling
https://salesengineeringblog.wordpress.com/

Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/cezar.cehan

Linkedin
https://www.linkedin.com/in/cezar-cehan-3613b11?trk=nav_responsive_tab_profile_pic

What if Gravity would Change?

 

(this message got a bit longer than intended, but I truly believe it’s worthwhile…)

What would be different in the way you Pay Attention if the Gravity field (which is now a Constant) would Randomly Change, moment by moment?

Related posts (mentioned in this one):

https://youhavemoreoptions.wordpress.com/2016/02/25/how-i-feel-is-none-of-my-business/

https://youhavemoreoptions.wordpress.com/2015/12/10/something-thats-true-for-me-balance/

https://youhavemoreoptions.wordpress.com/2015/11/05/theres-no-need-to-be-afraid-of-your-feelings/

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Links. Let’s connect…

If you liked this, let’s connect:

Website:
http://www.hearttoheartselling.com/home.html

YouTube – More Options Coaching channel
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPFflBdhQmo7HjLIlSQ-gQyihhXq6lRSG

YouTube – Heart to Heart Selling channel
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPFflBdhQmo6vzHNi3Tx1AMoYb0OALPhc

Blog More Options Coaching
https://youhavemoreoptions.wordpress.com/

Blog Heart to Heart Selling
https://salesengineeringblog.wordpress.com/

Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/cezar.cehan

Linkedin
https://www.linkedin.com/in/cezar-cehan-3613b11?trk=nav_responsive_tab_profile_pic

 

 

 

Do you Need a Relationship?

 

 

 

 

Most people “suffer” of the compulsion of ‘being liked’ when they enter a relationship – which turns the dynamic of that relationship into something less than pleasant, for all parties involved.

Then, out of frustration, the person who craved liking “riots” and goes for the opposite choice: “I don’t care about them!” type of attitude…
But, there is a happy medium – the attitude of Play, of mutual respect, of kindness, of calibrating and sending signals of “this is Play”… AND, when ‘conflicts’ or ‘misunderstandings’ arise, solve them from the same place (rather than from the place of “I am right, you are wrong”)…

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If you liked this, let’s connect:

Website:
http://www.hearttoheartselling.com/home.html

YouTube – More Options Coaching channel
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPFflBdhQmo7HjLIlSQ-gQyihhXq6lRSG

YouTube – Heart to Heart Selling channel
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPFflBdhQmo6vzHNi3Tx1AMoYb0OALPhc

Blog More Options Coaching
https://youhavemoreoptions.wordpress.com/

Blog Heart to Heart Selling
https://salesengineeringblog.wordpress.com/

Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/cezar.cehan

Linkedin
https://www.linkedin.com/in/cezar-cehan-3613b11?trk=nav_responsive_tab_profile_pic

Meditation – should I stop my Thinking

 

I found that many people talk about Meditation in terms of “stop your thoughts”, or “you have to sit down for one hour daily, with your eyes closed, without thinking”…

In teaching people about Meditation or Mindfulness, the most common
“objection” that I hear is that “it’s difficult to just sit there, with my eyes closed, because that’s when I start Having Thoughts, and I Feel the urge to do something more useful” (well, something along those lines…)

I had the same experience, in the past. What happened for me, though, is that I realized that Meditation or Mindfulness is Not something that you do for one hour and then you resume your habitual way of being for the rest of the day… Rather, Meditation is something that you [can] do all day long, or at any moment you feel like…

… just by Observing without Judging…

It will feel weird at the beginning (because we still Identify with the Thoughts we might entertain at a given moment, or because we still take those Thoughts as telling us something about the future). You will have the impulse to “do something”, as response to those Thoughts … Well, look AT that impulse and Don’t “do” anything about that impulse, neither. Just “Observe without Judging” even that tendency. “Observe without Judging” yourself having that tendency (notice for yourself “oh, look, I started to get worried”)

After a while, you will love the easiness, the stillness, the peace that will grow more and more inside you…

Try it out and see what happens… It won’t “take time” out of your day… It won’t include “more things to do” on your [already busy] list… Just bring a different quality to the “doing”, by noticing that you are Not “the thing that you are doing or thinking about”… noticing that you are “something” who “Does the doing or the thinking”…

That, in and of itself, it’s a moment of enlightenment, of Presence, of Connection…

 

PS. here’s a nice metaphor…

Techniques addiction – What if Connection comes first?

 

 

 

Techniques are in big demand nowadays – we’ve been led to believe that this is what we need – a good technique, if we want to accomplish anything. Anytime we find ourselves “in trouble”, the first thing we focus on is “what is the best thing To Do in order to get to where I want?”

Question: What would need to be true for us, to do that – to look for a way ‘to operate UPON a particular situation? To look for what to Do, rather than what to Be, for resolving it?

Obviously, we need to see ourselves as Separate of that situation and of the other people involved. We want a particular outcome to unfold and we use techniques to control the external circumstances to make that possible. We start from the presumption that what makes that outcome possible is a particular external circumstance. Thus, we focus on controlling the external circumstances…

 

Paradoxically, however, we live through a different understanding when it comes to our bodies. And, I would say, this understanding works much better and much more effective.

Think of this for a moment…

– you’re standing on a boat, floating through the waves

– you want to walk from one end to the other of it

– however, the waves are shaking the boat

Question:

– are you looking for a technique to control the waves (i.e., the external circumstances)?

– or are you focusing on maintaining the balance of your body, knowing that this is how you increase the chances for you to reach to the other end of the boat? And, even if you use various ‘helping techniques’, you know that their true and first purpose is maintaining the balance of your body, rather than manipulating the conditions, or even than ‘getting there’ – because we intrinsically Know that “walking” is not separated from our body… our body Makes the ‘walking’.

 

I bet that the second answer make the best sense to you…

 

What if this is what we first and foremost need, if we want to create in Alignment to the Natural Order of Things: Balance of the Mind, Presence, Connection?

What if the purpose of a technique is to facilitate for Us to Connect and Become Present, rather than “making Them” behave in a particular way?

What if Connection comes first?

 

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Links:

Website:

http://www.hearttoheartselling.com/home.html

 

YouTube – More Options Coaching channel

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPFflBdhQmo7HjLIlSQ-gQyihhXq6lRSG

 

YouTube – Heart to Heart Selling channel

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPFflBdhQmo6vzHNi3Tx1AMoYb0OALPhc

 

Blog More Options Coaching

https://youhavemoreoptions.wordpress.com/

 

Blog Heart to Heart Selling

https://salesengineeringblog.wordpress.com/

 

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/cezar.cehan

 

Linkedin

https://www.linkedin.com/in/cezar-cehan-3613b11?trk=nav_responsive_tab_profile_pic

 

 

Something that’s true for me – Balance

 

 

 

Balance of the Body vs Balance of the Mind

 

 

 

 

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http://www.hearttoheartselling.com/home.html

https://www.facebook.com/cezar.cehan

 

https://youhavemoreoptions.wordpress.com/

https://salesengineeringblog.wordpress.com/

Something that’s true for me – Decisions

 

 

There’s no such thing as “the right decision”.

There’s no ‘fixed’ world ‘out-there’, that you need to carefully examine and make a decision that fits it perfectly… It’s just a continuous and organic unfolding, as a reflection of who we are being, moment by moment…

There’s only “the right Way to go about [whatever it is that you choose to do]”…

And that is “having Clarity of mind”… Presence. Connection. Understanding.

 

 

Something that’s true for me – Controlling Reality

 

 

 

We don’t live in the Reality, but in our Experience of Reality… and we’re Creating that, Inside-Out, moment by moment…

To change your current Experience of Reality is to change who you Are Being, from Within.

Can you Control the outcome?

That’s the wrong question, and it’s not how it works. Life it’s an organic process, it cannot be ‘controlled’.

But you can ‘control’ your Doing. You can ‘control’ the fact that you are walking, but not what you’ll find at the end of your journey. You can ‘control’ the fact that you are talking, but not the effects of your words.

That’s Implicit Learning. We get better and better on how to Respond to patterns (so that to get closer to our outcome), but we cannot Predict the patterns.

And this is all there is to it…

 

Somebody said: “When you’re surfing, there’s nothing you can do to create waves. The skill of being a good surfer is riding the waves that come along.”

I hope that someday we’ll all escape this paradigm of “controlling life” and adopt Presence, realizing that our meaning is not to “make things happen’, but rather to Elegantly deal with whatever happens.