Techniques addiction – What if Connection comes first?

 

 

 

Techniques are in big demand nowadays – we’ve been led to believe that this is what we need – a good technique, if we want to accomplish anything. Anytime we find ourselves “in trouble”, the first thing we focus on is “what is the best thing To Do in order to get to where I want?”

Question: What would need to be true for us, to do that – to look for a way ‘to operate UPON a particular situation? To look for what to Do, rather than what to Be, for resolving it?

Obviously, we need to see ourselves as Separate of that situation and of the other people involved. We want a particular outcome to unfold and we use techniques to control the external circumstances to make that possible. We start from the presumption that what makes that outcome possible is a particular external circumstance. Thus, we focus on controlling the external circumstances…

 

Paradoxically, however, we live through a different understanding when it comes to our bodies. And, I would say, this understanding works much better and much more effective.

Think of this for a moment…

– you’re standing on a boat, floating through the waves

– you want to walk from one end to the other of it

– however, the waves are shaking the boat

Question:

– are you looking for a technique to control the waves (i.e., the external circumstances)?

– or are you focusing on maintaining the balance of your body, knowing that this is how you increase the chances for you to reach to the other end of the boat? And, even if you use various ‘helping techniques’, you know that their true and first purpose is maintaining the balance of your body, rather than manipulating the conditions, or even than ‘getting there’ – because we intrinsically Know that “walking” is not separated from our body… our body Makes the ‘walking’.

 

I bet that the second answer make the best sense to you…

 

What if this is what we first and foremost need, if we want to create in Alignment to the Natural Order of Things: Balance of the Mind, Presence, Connection?

What if the purpose of a technique is to facilitate for Us to Connect and Become Present, rather than “making Them” behave in a particular way?

What if Connection comes first?

 

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Links:

Website:

http://www.hearttoheartselling.com/home.html

 

YouTube – More Options Coaching channel

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YouTube – Heart to Heart Selling channel

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Blog More Options Coaching

https://youhavemoreoptions.wordpress.com/

 

Blog Heart to Heart Selling

https://salesengineeringblog.wordpress.com/

 

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Play, Neediness and Living in alignment with the Natural Order of Things

I found myself wasting a lot of time playing with my phone, tweaking its settings or playing games, etc – perhaps you can relate to that, too. Not doing anything in particular, just pushing buttons, curious of what happens if I do it, then evaluate and continue from there…

I was thinking “This is what Play actually means: throw the ball in the air and see what happens; then, wherever it happens for the ball to fall, we continue from there… basically, put things in motion and then go along with whatever unfolds.”

For a while, I was blaming myself for wasting time. Then, a better question came up: Why are we doing it?

And the answer is that Play is what we are supposed to do, it’s our natural state in which we learn and thrive. Thus, in a world where we are all habituated to Work/ to “endure” the activity for the sake of a promised outcome, we take any chance to “escape” that and fall into Play/ enjoying the activity for its own sake.

Time and time again, we “slip” back into Work, by playing the game with an Expectation to win, by becoming frustrated if we don’t.

Interestingly enough, although we have an intention to “win” the game, winning is not really the main part. How do I know that? Imagine playing a game, and that you are Always winning…. Yes, at the beginning you’ll feel good, but, after a while, I bet you’ll get bored and you’ll start a different game.
In exchange, take a look at how we are running our lives: we want the “success” and we go after this outcome as if our lives depend on it. We turned our lives into Work. We “force” things into happening, forgetting or ignoring that we are all connected and part of a bigger entity. For that entity to function harmoniously, all integrant parts must work together harmoniously – like a clock. Think for a moment what happens if a wheel within a clock starts to “take charge”, “make things happen” and act in its own interest, disregarding the rest of the mechanism…

I also believe that this “entity” that we are part of (call it Nature, Universe, etc) does not exist for its own benefit, but for ours. Thus, when one has a desire and it allows the “entity” to find a harmonious way to bring that into existence (i.e., without imposing into the functioning of the whole), then the probability for it to happen increases.

That’s where Play comes in handy, because one still has to Act. When one is Acting without Forcing things, but by Playing – by putting things in motion, by “throwing the ball in the air” and then, wherever the ball falls, going from there. You’re not imposing the ball to fall on a particular spot, you allow the Nature to determine where the ball falls. Then, you take it from there and throw it again towards your goal.

That’s Influence and that’s Living in alignment with the Natural Order of Things.

Choose to Create

Is there a world outside “out-there” that we Observe and Learn about, or that Observation is actually an act of Creation?

Chose what you Pay Attention to, rather than passively Observe whatever it happens to be… so that you could Create more of what you Want…

Sit for a second before traveling

Much has been said about “setting goals”, but little was emphasized about the danger of the Toxic Goals. How to prevent this from happening?

1. Instead of “what do I want to get”, think in terms of “what do I want to create” – it will put you into a more useful frame of mind.

2. Pay attention to the Feeling you have when contemplating that goal. Anything less than total congruency might reveal a toxic goal.

3. Put that thought “on the back of your mind” – allow your Unconscious Mind to guide your steps. . When you put a seed in the ground, it’s obviously foolish to uncover it time to time, just to check out if it sprouted yet.

4. When you are “doing the doing” be Present in the Now. Concern yourself only with the activity you are doing in that particular moment.

5. Take time off for Evaluating how you are doing – Evaluating and Doing are Not to be done in the same time.