Play, Neediness and Living in alignment with the Natural Order of Things

I found myself wasting a lot of time playing with my phone, tweaking its settings or playing games, etc – perhaps you can relate to that, too. Not doing anything in particular, just pushing buttons, curious of what happens if I do it, then evaluate and continue from there…

I was thinking “This is what Play actually means: throw the ball in the air and see what happens; then, wherever it happens for the ball to fall, we continue from there… basically, put things in motion and then go along with whatever unfolds.”

For a while, I was blaming myself for wasting time. Then, a better question came up: Why are we doing it?

And the answer is that Play is what we are supposed to do, it’s our natural state in which we learn and thrive. Thus, in a world where we are all habituated to Work/ to “endure” the activity for the sake of a promised outcome, we take any chance to “escape” that and fall into Play/ enjoying the activity for its own sake.

Time and time again, we “slip” back into Work, by playing the game with an Expectation to win, by becoming frustrated if we don’t.

Interestingly enough, although we have an intention to “win” the game, winning is not really the main part. How do I know that? Imagine playing a game, and that you are Always winning…. Yes, at the beginning you’ll feel good, but, after a while, I bet you’ll get bored and you’ll start a different game.
In exchange, take a look at how we are running our lives: we want the “success” and we go after this outcome as if our lives depend on it. We turned our lives into Work. We “force” things into happening, forgetting or ignoring that we are all connected and part of a bigger entity. For that entity to function harmoniously, all integrant parts must work together harmoniously – like a clock. Think for a moment what happens if a wheel within a clock starts to “take charge”, “make things happen” and act in its own interest, disregarding the rest of the mechanism…

I also believe that this “entity” that we are part of (call it Nature, Universe, etc) does not exist for its own benefit, but for ours. Thus, when one has a desire and it allows the “entity” to find a harmonious way to bring that into existence (i.e., without imposing into the functioning of the whole), then the probability for it to happen increases.

That’s where Play comes in handy, because one still has to Act. When one is Acting without Forcing things, but by Playing – by putting things in motion, by “throwing the ball in the air” and then, wherever the ball falls, going from there. You’re not imposing the ball to fall on a particular spot, you allow the Nature to determine where the ball falls. Then, you take it from there and throw it again towards your goal.

That’s Influence and that’s Living in alignment with the Natural Order of Things.

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How to “create a Connection”?

I think of a relationship the same way as I think of a flower. How can you “create” a flower? A flower “happens” when you remove the restrictions that prevent it from “happening”. The presupposition is that the flower “wants” to grow and you can only facilitate the conditions for it to grow, all by itself, by removing the hindrances.
You don’t “build” a relationship by using a hammer and nails, but by planting a seed and creating the conditions for that seed to emerge on its own.

The same goes for love.

Yes, I agree, you could labor a relationship using superficial appearances and acting as to make-believe. But this would be superficial. Superficial is also insubstantial, and a relationship that’s not based on substance is not a real relationship.

Sit for a second before traveling

Much has been said about “setting goals”, but little was emphasized about the danger of the Toxic Goals. How to prevent this from happening?

1. Instead of “what do I want to get”, think in terms of “what do I want to create” – it will put you into a more useful frame of mind.

2. Pay attention to the Feeling you have when contemplating that goal. Anything less than total congruency might reveal a toxic goal.

3. Put that thought “on the back of your mind” – allow your Unconscious Mind to guide your steps. . When you put a seed in the ground, it’s obviously foolish to uncover it time to time, just to check out if it sprouted yet.

4. When you are “doing the doing” be Present in the Now. Concern yourself only with the activity you are doing in that particular moment.

5. Take time off for Evaluating how you are doing – Evaluating and Doing are Not to be done in the same time.