How to “create a Connection”?

I think of a relationship the same way as I think of a flower. How can you “create” a flower? A flower “happens” when you remove the restrictions that prevent it from “happening”. The presupposition is that the flower “wants” to grow and you can only facilitate the conditions for it to grow, all by itself, by removing the hindrances.
You don’t “build” a relationship by using a hammer and nails, but by planting a seed and creating the conditions for that seed to emerge on its own.

The same goes for love.

Yes, I agree, you could labor a relationship using superficial appearances and acting as to make-believe. But this would be superficial. Superficial is also insubstantial, and a relationship that’s not based on substance is not a real relationship.

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Expectation vs Intention

Did you find that the idea of Expecting something to happen is actually making you disappointed, frustrated or irritated when things

don’t go exactly the way you envisioned? This reveals a hidden attachment to that particular outcome and that you just became “needy”.

And, when you bring “neediness” into an interaction, you already lost.