I want to be approved of

It’s a common tendency, having ancestral roots in our psyche. But what if we are wrongfully interpreting the meaning of this word?

Etymologically speaking, Approve = A + Prove

The prefix “a” means “not, near, without, toward” (latin).

So, “approve” means “not proved [yet]”, as in “it may not be popular”, not “in trend”.

In other words, “approve” does not refer to “me” (as a person, something that others should do for me), but to “the thing” I’m about to do and that I am shy about. It is “the thing” that is not “proved yet.”

It was a time when, if I wanted to sail around the world, people would not approve of me. However, once that activity was proved to be valid, if I said that I wanted to sail around the world, “being approved of” wouldn’t be a problem anymore.

If you feel the need “to be approved”, most probably that means that – in your reality – the thing you’re just about to do is “not proved yet”. Most probably, you feel unsure about it and you crave the approval of others, to give you permission to do it.

That’s a good moment to realize that your feeling of “craving approval” says nothing about the “provability” of the thing you’re about to do. That means that you are, actually, allowed to go and do it, and – as a result – prove it.

And, once you’ve done it, that thing is now “proved” and you are “approved of”.

Just for fun, look at the page below: Failed Technology Predictions. It’s interesting how many people expressed that they “don’t approve” of something, until that thing was, actually, demonstrated by having been done.


Expectation vs Intention

Did you find that the idea of Expecting something to happen is actually making you disappointed, frustrated or irritated when things

don’t go exactly the way you envisioned? This reveals a hidden attachment to that particular outcome and that you just became “needy”.

And, when you bring “neediness” into an interaction, you already lost.

Sit for a second before traveling

Much has been said about “setting goals”, but little was emphasized about the danger of the Toxic Goals. How to prevent this from happening?

1. Instead of “what do I want to get”, think in terms of “what do I want to create” – it will put you into a more useful frame of mind.

2. Pay attention to the Feeling you have when contemplating that goal. Anything less than total congruency might reveal a toxic goal.

3. Put that thought “on the back of your mind” – allow your Unconscious Mind to guide your steps. . When you put a seed in the ground, it’s obviously foolish to uncover it time to time, just to check out if it sprouted yet.

4. When you are “doing the doing” be Present in the Now. Concern yourself only with the activity you are doing in that particular moment.

5. Take time off for Evaluating how you are doing – Evaluating and Doing are Not to be done in the same time.